(Fiction)
Can u just end a five year old friendship just because you made a mistake of getting into a relation?
It’s not so easy and neither acceptable. This happened with a friend of mine. She shared the most beautiful relation/friendship whatever you call it with her school mate whom she actually started talking to after school life ended. Strange! Piya actually had a massive heart break as her 1st love just dumped her, and happened to speak to Rohan who she always just knew as a classmate. Sometimes it’s easier to share your feelings with strangers rather than loved ones. That is what happened in this case.
Piya was just staring out of her window while the wind was just blowing away her brown curls from her face, as she just spotted a young couple happily walking by on the street, and unrealizing a tear rolled down her cheek. Just when breaking her chain of thoughts her bestie called her up, asking her to dial an unknown number and to find out who it was. She dialled, and it was surprisingly Rohan from school. And after that piya and rohan never stayed without each other. They had a lot of fights like the way all best friends do, but their bond just grew stronger after every fight. Piya started sharing all her thoughts feelings with Rohan and as time flew by they became an addiction for each other. Piya still had the remains of her 1st love in her heart, but, as expected Rohan was in love with Piya within a year. It always seemed that Piya needs Rohan but somewhere deep down it was the other way round.
Rest of the story in Piya’s words.
We spoke day n night about everything and nothing, as time passed it became a daily necessity for us to talk every possible minute of the day. I shared all my problems from a broken nail to a big fight with my best friend (Shruti) with Rohan and always followed his expert advice. At the end of one year of our friendship Rohan had started giving me hints of his feelings for me, but I never felt for him. So, just accepting his proposal would be wrong. He did feel bad initially but later on our bond just grew stronger. He was matured enough to handle it.
Two years just flew by, and our HSC Board exams were on head. We both were obviously not at all prepared, joined all sorts of crash courses in the end, all giving no good in the end. But finally we studied together all night before exams and somehow managed to pass out too....
Life took a new turn after this....
Finally vacations, the most enjoyable time of a student’s life. Three of us (me, shruti n rohan) had a real blast. Each and every day was equally important and memorable. The purity of our friendship was utter madness. These two lunatic people were literally my life.
Out of all this one day was the most important, the day I accepted Rohan’s proposal. Yes, I finally did fall for him. I was conscious of my feelings during our exams but I was simply waiting for the right moment. We decided to make a little use of our time instead of just whiling it away, I hence came up with the idea of learning a foreign language. Spanish, German, French, Chinese it was all such confusion, finally we all agreed with Chinese as a lot of interpreters are required as there is a lot of business between India and China. So, finally the first day of our Chinese class, all excited, especially me because I’d decided that I will confess my feelings. I wanted this to be special, so I got him his favourite football team (Chelsea) keychain and wrote “I LOVE YOU” on the inside of it. He was very surprised, looked into my eyes and asked me “You Love me?!!” I nodded, he smiled, and I kissed him. I always wanted a serious commitment in life. I always saw a stability in Rohan about his life which was one of the most important reason why I loved him.
Rohan was not an actual romantic person but he always did his best to keep up. He used to call me beautiful instead of hot, because what he loved more was my inner beauty, called me back every time I disconnected the call as he knew I would not let the phone out of my sight till he’d call back. Each night, he never disconnected the phone till he heard me sleep, would always kiss my forehead first instead of my lips. He’d get hold of my hand tightly while crossing the road, treating me like a little kid. Always claimed that I belong to him, as if I am something materialistic, treated me like His Princess.
Piya just belonged to Rohan. Somehow I started believing in destiny after all this. My life was just so beautiful and perfect. I loved every moment every minute of it. I was so much deeply in love with everything around me.
As it is said, the sea is calm just before a massive storm, which is what just happened in my life. My world just crashed down in front of my own eyes. It all started when we started thinking about which course to opt for. I had vaguely heard about Symbiosis International University in Pune. The main reason I wanted to go was to stay outside Mumbai. Rohan n I both filled in forms for the entrance test. While the days we were waiting for our entrance exam results we made all plans as of how we will have a real fabulous life out there.
But life is always full of surprises. I didn’t qualify for the interview, he did both of us were very disappointed, but he was more. Without a second thought he decided not to go. But I wanted him to clear the tests at least, rest we left it to destiny. Things were not in our favour or that is what I feel; he cleared all tests, was qualified for the admission, he didn’t want to leave me and go, but I forced him to, just staying back for Us was not actually worth sacrificing such an opportunity. And, eventually he went.
My life all of a sudden was all just depended on the ring of my cellphone. My day started and ended all on Rohan’s calls and messages. It was all great initially, I called him up the moment I left from my house for college, and spoke till the time I reached, spoke during the break, after his college got over, all evening and just before going to bed he used to put me off to sleep. And every weekend he came to Mumbai to meet me with little gifts full of hugs and kisses. It was all so good and perfect. But things did not remain the same. It all started getting awful each day. Calls reduced visits too. Fights increased or rather started went beyond limits to the extent of breaking up, but every time the moment we saw each other all the grudges were over immediately, a hug cured it all, but the moment he went back it was all the same again. Fights! Which actually went on till 8 months. Life was getting miserable, every time Rohan refused to talk I ended up shouting and later burying up in bed with tears. . . Things started worsening even when we met, and the hugs couldn’t make up to it anymore. We decided to break up mutually as it was badly affecting our academics to, due to his frequent visits to Mumbai he ran low on attendance in college and was not allowed to appear for the exams. I started losing my sanity getting worse day by day, it when I realised I’m so much depended on Rohan. Life just stopped moving. World around me turned ugly.
I was completely lost in my emotions, so drowned in that couldn’t see what’s going on around me. Paid no attention to my family, I was hurt beyond repair; nothing at all except Rohan affected me. My heart always skipped a beat on his occasional calls, all I did was sat in my bed with the phone in my hand continuously either calling or texting to him, I became suicidal, mentally drenched. I tired talking a lot of times to solve the issues going around but, he always just said ‘hon, I was just partying slept later that’s it, you know I love you and I don’t want to break up, I cannot let you go.’ And my heart melted every time and I innocently concluded that probably I am being immature and things will be fine soon. I always found new excuses to make him talk to me, I was so used to doing everything with him, studying, sharing every little problem, that now just to make him talk I simply stopped facing life and wanted him to do it all for me. My final exams were round the corner, and I knew no matter what he will at least help me study and we’ll have some time together. I was eagerly looking forward to it, but it all came crashing down when he simply refused to be with me. Panic caught my throat as I just didn’t know how to get started; I simply had lost all confidence in myself and even couldn’t manage to talk to an unknown person. My friends Shruti and Varun did all they could for me, encouraged me every bit, but things got sour with Shruti too. I refused to talk to anyone else about it. I pretended to be all normal. And so, Varun was all in life I was left with he spent all his time with me calling me every possible minute, he walked back home from his IPCC classes just so that he’d get a few extra minutes to talk to me. Somehow with Varun’s support I managed to give my final exams. It was just when I was writing an exam, daydreaming and fiddling around with the question paper, I was swaying away the paper through the pillar my intension was of tearing it, but every time I tried to tear the paper by making it go in the wall the paper just bent down its way out, it irritated me, and every time it bent its way through I got more determined to tear it by pushing it through the wall the endlessly repeated the process but the same thing happened every time, the paper bent down. After a while of continuous trying I was tired by this time I had completely forgotten to write my answer paper and just kept thinking about what kept happening, the paper bending down each time and getting back to normal. I gave the question paper one last look and noticed some creases around the area from where I was pushing it in the pillar. I decided to ignore the whole thing and got back to writing my answers, but the whole incident kept running through my mind sub-consciously. My mind began wandering again, analyzing life generally about all the various changes taking around me which I didn’t bother to notice in last few months. And the question paper came back haunting me as if trying to tell me something, Life is not easy, it never will be, so what you see a pillar in front of you, just bend down and make your way out. In the process of bending down you may be hurt, may get wounds but that will just make you stronger with another experience. The pillar in this case was like the biggest obstacle for the question paper to pass through but it did, and won its battle. Who on earth would ever think that a dumb question paper would teach me a lesson for life and make me live my life again, making me stand up and face life for myself because no one else is going to do it for me. I have to stand for myself.
Life became way better after when I decided to live it and not waste it for the one who is just not worth my tears. Things became better. Life became easier. Varun and me came quite close, he more of needed me all time to push him to study. Rohan came back to Mumbai two weeks after my exams got over. I was reluctant to meet him initially but I did so in the end. The moment we met and got a chance to be alone I just lost all my temper I screamed, yelled, slapped him till he held me in his arms and I was all done being brave and strong. I cried in his arms all afternoon. I’d never seen Rohan as guilty as this, for doing all this to me. He apologised. But I was too angry to listen to his apologies. All he said was the damn five letter word SORRY! How could I just forgive him for all the nights I cried, for the months of my life I screwed up badly. I couldn’t just get over all of that so easily and get back to normal, so simply! How? He did feel totally ashamed for treating his princess so horribly, for making me cry all those nights when he preferred partying. After a while when I was ready to listen he told me, being sorry was not easy for him as I thought it is. He did genuinely realise his mistake, he told me that he could have gone away easily without apologising but he wanted to be fair. He did feel guilty and there was nothing else he could do about it. What has happened has happened. It cannot be changed. He felt that no matter what our love is beyond everything else and we are meant to be together just for each other and we were back together. It felt more than good. Just awesome you can say. . . I did forgive him . . . but I did not get all so dependent on him this time, I loved him, I was with him but I lived my own life, didn’t make him my life, he was only a part of it. It was all going really great, we met almost daily, made love occasionally all was perfect until one dreadful afternoon.
Our college terms had started and Rohan was back in Pune. Things were much better between us this time, he took care of it. I was generally a girl who threw a lot of tantrums as always I came home tired from the hot screeching sun and didn’t find lunch ready on the table I started yelling on my maid, but just then my mom pulled me by my arm and took me inside the room and closed the door behind, I sensed something fishy, so I decided keep my mouth shut for a while. Mom was just continuously staring at me with anger I just had no idea of what is going on. By this time I was sure it’s not because of me throwing a tantrum, it something serious. Breaking my thoughts mom just yelled at me almost controlling from slapping me. She accused me of lying to her while I went out. I panicked a little, but not to show it, I yelled back defending that I do not lie. Mom clenched her teeth, pressed my arm real hard enough to hurt me. Almost breaking down my mother said that I am two months pregnant! My face went pale; I didn’t know how to react. I just kept looking down at the floor. Mom screamed again, and asked me that who the guy was? I meekly told her it’s Rohan. No doubt she was completely furious. But that time I urgently had to go as a friend of mine was waiting for me, mom ordered me to come back within half an hour, I quickly went inside the room took all mine n Rohan’s pictures and all his other gifts dumped in my bag, and left immediately, the first thing I did was called up Rohan and told him everything, I was shocked when he simply told me that he cannot come to Mumbai now as he has too many assignments so he told me to go and get an abortion. I was completely speechless. I didn’t know how to react, I met my friend pretended completely normal gave her the notes she was waiting for and after that I just aimlessly kept walking on the road . . .
All the good times me and Rohan spent, the promises of getting married and being together for forever, the smile on our face when people used to tell us that we are just made-for-each-other. The times we fought for the last bite of chocolate, the day we hugged while half in water at juhu beach. It was all just playing back in my head. Then what just happened home, what mom just said, I AM PREGNANT! How can I? We always took care, but still I always knew it’s never 100%. Shit! How could I?! And now what! What am I going to do? I looked down at my belly, cursed it till I could. Just then I wiped my tears looked up and saw a truck coming towards me, I decided, Yes this was the end. . . I stepped forward towards the truck just then a small girl came running from behind and banged into me, I looked back at her, she shyly turned around and giggled and called up to her maa and teased her mother that she won the race, my eyes moved to her mother who was catching up, I saw a glad look in her eyes, she was happy because her baby girl was happy. A mother is happy when her child is happy; her child is everything for her, the pleasure of being called maa from those tiny little lips, when your kid holds your finger tightly for security. It’s you who feels secure then more than your baby. And I wanted to kill all this? But was this my age to experience all this? I was not all that brave to face the world . . . and how would my parents face others? I was in such a dilemma. My phone beeped, it was my mom, I answered the call with a low hmm, and mom’s reply almost surprised me, she asked ‘beta kidhar hai? Tu thik hai naa? Jaldi ghar aa’ her words were so full of concern for me. Tears rolled down again, but with happiness and assurance that no matter what my parents are there with me, they loved me after all, right? Everything will be alright; mom dad will make it alright. I knew it then. I went back home, and we immediately left to go to the gynaecologist.
The await till the time we met the doctor was more than two hours, none of us spoke all this while, I desperately wanted to know what was going on in mom’s mind. We were called in, and my dad removed the reports of my blood test I had taken two weeks ago. The doctor simply said, what happened? The reports are normal. Why are you still here? My parents gave a puzzled look. And I told the doctor that they feel I am pregnant. On hearing this, she almost chuckled. And denied any such thing, but there was a line in the report which said ‘in pregnancy 7-10 weeks unfold’ and there was another line which said ‘basal’ (it means no pregnancy) since both the lines were written just one below another it seemed that my reports said that I am pregnant, when I was not. I WAS NOT. Pheww!! That was like the biggest relief of my life! Mom started crying, I cried too. And learnt the biggest lesson of my life. I knew who loved me and who didn’t. That moment, my life, my parents meant everything to me. The matter cooled down. The bonding and love between me and my parents matured.
I never spoke to Rohan after that. He did call, tried to contact me in numerous ways but, I simply ignored. It went on for a few months, but then later even he gave up. I have no idea about him lately but I heard from a few friends that he has been involved in drugs; I did feel bad for him, for just sloshing away his life like this. I knew his partying would lead to something dreadful. I often wondered about his parents but never got any answer.
Anyway my life moved on pretty well, I accomplished all my dreams, married a young rich sensible and the most suitable man and I am now the CEO of one of Mumbai’s leading advertising agencies, and a proud mother of two.
- Written by - Ekta Rungta
